i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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