Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
