I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
