Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize