you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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