I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
