Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
