I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
