i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We got so high we made milksteak
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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