Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
