well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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