You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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