clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
