Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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