I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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