ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
