My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
