Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize