i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
