who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
