how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
