I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
