What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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