There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize