just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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