You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
