office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
