I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize