I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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