S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
should my penis look like a turkey
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
