saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
