I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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