He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
