my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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