I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
