this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
