we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
