So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
