Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
