don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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