is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize