I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
