I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
