the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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