I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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