Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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