Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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