how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
