Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
