Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Boobs are out for the taking
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
