You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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