apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
