my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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