I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
