You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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