i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
