he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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