That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
