Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
