put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
