i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
