I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize