we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
