YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
