i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
