Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
