Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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