True but thats because hes a fetus.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
