I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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