It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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